I Love You Momma-Doll

I haven't really figured out how to do this whole blog thing, but as I laid in bed last night, I though that maybe it would be a good place to post my thoughts and feelings about my mom...

Mom died a week ago on Thursday June 26, 2008. Although she was not feeling well, it was unexpected. She had just spent about 3 weeks here with me in Billings. The Friday before she passed, Aunt Trorina came to visit and mom was doing okay, not great, but okay. Beth came on Sunday to visit and and I had taken her home to Great Falls on Monday night...I hadn't called her or talked to her on Tuesday or Wednesday, then the call came.

Thursday, in between teaching classes someone came and got me and told me that I had a phone call that I had better take because the lady on the other line was crying. I had a feeling right then. I went into the office, but the call was gone. I ran and checked my cell phone-10 missed calls, Aunt Rita for most of them. The caller was now back on the line and I went to take the call. All I could hear was Beth sobbing and a faint, "she's gone..." I knew that she meant mom, but I couldn't believe it. I just sat there, thinking how am I going to plan a funeral?!?

My coworkers are great and they immediately prepared to take over for me. I called Alan, I think he was caught very off guard. We made it to Great Falls that night. The next few days were sprinkled with tears and laughter as we sat and hung out with family talking about all manner of memories. The service was great, Pastor Bob really did a great job remembering mom, about 5 raised their hand for salvation. God is doing good things in our family through this, but it still hurts.

Last night, we were driving home from a friend's house and Alan's mom called. We talked about her plans to come out to Billings for the weekend. As I walked into the door when we got home, I had this thought--I should call mom--but I couldn't call. I realized last night that I would never hear her voice again, I would never hear her say "I love you baby doll" which meant that she would not hear me say "I love you Momma-doll." I don't know if she can hear me in heaven, but Alan said that I could ask Jesus to tell her for me. Whether or not she could hear me, I still told her as I laid crying in bed...