Hiding Behind the Busy-ness

This weekend I had to go to my mom's house and pack up. I guess I didn't have to, it's just that I don't know how long we can wait before we get it done. People say that you shouldn't do things too soon, but if we (my sisters and I) wait, who will pay the utilities? We are already trying to figure that out for this month.

Anyhow, we were packing, or trying to pack. It was kind of a hectic deal. My sisters and I all react differently. I just want to get things done, if I am focused, I am okay. My younger sister is still having a hard time with it all and it is too new for her to do anything--which I TOTALLY understand--so she went through the pictures and separated them for us (thanks :) The youngest sister is kind of in-between, so, she is okay with packing and she is fine with my "organized" way of doing things, I think. So, I guess I was kinda orchestrating all the packing. Grandma wanted to know what to pack (as long as it wasn't breakable), my aunts wanted to help, my sisters were helping, grandpa came and packed the breakfast nook, my husband was putting together boxes for the whole thing, wrapping stuff in paper, moving boxes hither and thither, and looking around the house. I was pretty well occupied for a good 7 or 8 hours, then it hit.

As soon as we were done, it was like my whole mood changed. I wasn't distracted by the things we were doing and my heart had time to feel. When Alan and I had some time alone, I felt the sadness and the stress of all this. The rest of my family seems to feel it throughout time, while I feel it when I lose my focus. I don't know why I am this way, but I don't really think it's bad. I think that as long as I let myself feel the emotions, it's good. I don't want to hide my sadness, but it is easy for me to get into busy mode. Thankfully, I know how to turn that mode off and I know how to let my emotions come through. It's still hard to feel this way, come on, let's fact it, I'm 30 and my 46 year old mom is gone, but I am praying everyday that Jesus would truly use this to bring about some good in our family's life.

P.S.--Beth, Athena, Aunt Rita, Aunt Angel, Grandma & Grandpa and Alan, thanks for all your help this weekend with the packing. I could never do it on my own, I am glad that I have a great family that I can go through this with. I love you!